Rants and Routines

For those of you that are new here, I'll recap-I am bipolar and unmedicated.  Well, pretty much.  One little baby anti-anxiety pill for panic.  THAT'S IT.  Compared to the the 8 plus medications a day I was taking 5 years ago, that's pretty amazing.  So how do I do it? Well I rant alot and I have a routine.  Granted most of my ranting is in my head, unless no one is home then I do it out loud.  My routine is actually pretty simple, I get up early, have 2 cups of coffee, take my vitamins and get my ass out of the house.  Even if I just go see my grandbaby a mile away, I get out.  I play on Facebook, Twitter and a few other sites, I work my business every day (even if all I do is watch a training DVD or check my business email) and I work my part time job.  Did I tell you at one point I was actually in charge of 325 employees?? Pretty scary huh? I can't remember to pay my bills on time.  Another reason I'm thankful for the internet.  My credit score is out of the 400's! On the first I go online and schedule my 5 bills throughout the month-TADA! done.  I learned this lesson after divorce, splitting $110k in credit card debt (probably not fair to Prince Charming since impulsive spending was always an issue for me) bankruptcy, then after that STILL managing to put my house into foreclosure twice.  I've learned to control my spending, mostly by giving all my money to the toad but I am working on my very own savings account.  Put money in, DO NOT take any out!  My very own safety net-who'd of thought it was possible? Certainly not me! Don't get me wrong-I still go on spending sprees-I just try and limit them to the grocery store these days.  The part time job-it's a JOB...it gives me a PAYCHECK to bring home to the Toad, so he can pay the REAL bills.  It has zero responsibility and any 16 year old kid can do it.  I just do it with more personality.  There are no headaches, no deadlines and I NEVER have to bring work home.  I've learned I have to compromise to lower my stress levels and keep myself somewhat sane.  I've found that a menial, no pressure job works for me.  But I just cannot bottle up all of this genius inside my head....hence the blog posts.  The need to get out of my head some of the rantings and musings....some mind you, not all.  Can't have anyone trying to force me into one of those lovely 5 day stays at a psych ward...been there, done that.  The food is good, it's like a little vacation and you look around and say "HEYYYY maybe I'm not quite as crazy as I thought I was" then you go home and wham! yup you're a nutcase again.  Ah well.  Goals, set goals. I make lists. LOTS of lists. Less than before, but still alot.  I have about 30 hobbies.  As long as I keep moving, don't stop and think, don't dwell on what could have been, or what could be,  I'll be ok.  One day at a time...easy does it.  Nope not AA,  just my way of coping.

Until next time,

K~